I’ve just made the best cake ever. Take a seat and i’ll tell you about it.
I’m not saying I’m the greatest chef in the world or anything – but I surprise myself. I have made the best cake in the world – perhaps even the universe. They will sing songs of my brilliance for years to come.
I’ve made a rainbow cake. That’s cooking lingo for ‘cake of many colours’. Let me tell you something – before I made this cake I was a wanderer with no direction, now I have a purpose in my life – you wouldn’t understand. Now that I can safely say that I’m a fully trained Grade-A chef, my team-mates here will be thrilled at the culinary delights I’m going to be making in the future, every Monday – no, every weekday will be a cake day.
I’ll keep it simple for you – I bought the ingredients from a shop and mixed them together – in a bowl. I won’t tell you the recipe because I’m going to have to license it. I could go on Dragons Den with it – It’s a money spinner.
Here’s what my colleagues thought of my magnificence…
The consistency is a bit… yeah.
– Joe Grainger
I don’t like your cake.
– Zander Grinfeld
10 out of 10… for effort.
– Andy Hurtel-Hymans.
Nonsense. I’ll prove it.
My cake was recently launched into space to feed the astronauts on the International Space Station – and they loved it! You gotta spread this cake around it can’t stay on Earth – that’s selfish.
You can’t argue with that can you. I’m going to ignore the comments of my team mates, they must have been talking about a different cake.
– NASA 2016